


Maps

by EriesSubjugates



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, German Football, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2392625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriesSubjugates/pseuds/EriesSubjugates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was surprised when he finds Mats' wearing one of his royal blue training hoodie. Mats hair was disheveled. The messy hair of Mats reminded Benedikt of the drunken escapade he'd had the night before; although, it was more like a drunk Mats and a slightly tipsy Benedikt making out like horny teenagers on their first hookup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heart Out

The chill of the upcoming winter can be felt in the air. The scent of warm coffee taunting him to wake up was too much. Benedikt opens his eyes, happily content when the sun hasn't risen yet, which would have made things worse. The curtains were pushed to the side, allowing the soft light of the looming dawn spill through the huge glass door that leads to Benedikt's veranda. Benedikt enjoys this few minutes of peace that he gets to experience on rare ocassions. The hold of his last night's slumber had already escaped him. Benedikt admired the silence, the feeling that it gives him, the feeling that he rules the world. The few silent minutes that would clear his head at the ever so fast paced lifestyle in Germany. It was in this few pre-dawn occasions that Benedikt long for a peaceful life, away from the busy metropolis. Benedikt grabs his boxers and the t-shirt that he discarded last night. He follows the smell of fresh coffee, and exited the warm cozy hold of his bedroom.

 

He was surprised when he finds Mats' wearing one of his royal blue training hoodie. Mats hair was disheveled. The messy hair of Mats reminded Benedikt of the drunken escapade he'd had the night before; although, it was more like a drunk Mats and a slightly tipsy Benedikt making out like horny teenagers on their first hookup.

 

Benedikt, as careful as he could, crossed the small distance that separates him from the Greek beauty. He ignores temptation when he realizes that Mats was wearing his boxers, which he was absolutely sure he kept in the 'secured' part of his walk in closet. He also ignores the sight of Mats long legs. He ignores the ghost feeling of Mats' legs wrapped around his waist, and the sound of the soft moans that escaped Mat's sinful lips.

 

Benedikt cursed himself and his over imaginative mind.

 

 Benedikt has a task in hand, and he needs to do it, without making Mats aware of his presence. He immediately wraps his arms around the inviting body of the journalist.

'You know, it's a sin that I'm actually a few inches shofter than you.' Benedikt says, foregoing the usual good morning people would usually say.

Mats hum in return, before speaking, 'And it's definitely God's fault why you are a footballer instead of an artist. My god, those hands of yours are skilled' Mats said smugly.

Benedikt groans at Mats. He releases Mats from his hug, and reached for the mug of coffee instead.

'Fucking tease.' Benedikt whispers.

Benedikt could feel Mats looking at him, and Benedikt keeps his eyes pointedly focused on the cup of coffee in his hand.

'Oh you're beautiful; I can't tarnish your beauty. You're perfect and you deserve better. Why did you choose me, Mats, why meee?' Mats mocks, exaggerating his voice in order to sound like Benedikt did last night. 'And yet you screwed me so hard, I am sure I've been sent to Nirvana.' Mats adds.

Benedikt growls this time. Mats only laughed at him. He sets the mug in the counter; slightly disappointed that he hasn't had his coffee yet, to turn to the laughing man next to him.

Mats smirks at him. Benedikt could only groan back when he finally notices that his hoodie that Mats is wearing isn't fully zipped. He sees the smooth alabaster skin beneath the thin material of his hoodie. Benedikt also notices bite marks beneath the collarbone of Mats.

'Was I really rough last night?' Benedikt asks, tracing the bruise on Mats' skin. He felt Mats' stiffen a bit, before relaxing to his hold.

'You were, but I'm fine.' Sighed Mats. He hums again when Benedikt's fingers began tracing his jaw line. 'Don't you have a job to do?' Benedikt asks.

'Nope.' Mats answers.

'Really?'

Mats shoots him a glare.

‘Yes.’ Mats says. He sticks his tongue out when Benedikt grins at him.

 

 


	2. Sacred Heart: I’ll wait for you there, only you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on footy ficathon 'mats hummels as a journalist (because he said that would have been his altertantive career choice)  
> Bonus points if he does the sports section and interviews his long-time celebrity crush Benedikt Höwedes'. I tweaked a few stuff so instead of Mats' having a long-time crush on Benedikt Howedes, his interview will be his first.  
> Here's the prompt http://thesilverwitch.livejournal.com/31896.html?page=8
> 
> **Edit: This chapter explains how Mats and Benni met; the first chapter was more of a preview how those two act around one another. X) P

 

**Mats’ point of view**

 

Determined.

That’s what most people think of Mats, if not the fierce kind of journalist who’ll do everything to get the necessary story written for the newspaper column he’s assigned to. Mats does everything in order. He always keeps his handy Samsung Galaxy Note 3 with him. He fixes his schedules: from meetings down to the casual get together he does with his friends. His co-worker/bestfriend, Marco teases him about his OC tendency. He would dismiss those teasing remarks for he knows himself that he is indeed OC and that he’d rather have everything in order rather than miss deadlines—like Marco would. While his best friend worry about deadlines, Mats would have time for himself to relax and do whatever his free time would allow him too. At times like those, he would often tease Marco telling ‘Who’s got the upper hand now?’ ‘Do you need planner, Marco?’ or worse ‘I could arrange a meeting for you and Mario if you’d like.’, to which Marco would usually flip him off, throw a glare in his direction, before returning to typing furiously on his laptop.

Mats is happily content working for the paper in Dortmund. Their boss whom they call _Kloppo_ is a highly respectable man. Kloppo is partnered with another respectable man, who goes by the name Pep. Pep, on the other hand works for a magazine, so despite the fact that Pep is based on Munich, the newspaper and magazine team worked flawlessly. Pep would annually arrange a joint work with Kloppo that usually falls on the -ber months. The ‘article/s’ would both appear on the spread of the magazine and the newspaper for the Christmas edition. The people bought it when both managers extraordinaire tried it, and as a result it has become an annual tradition. This year though, they are focused on the young German footballer who’s established his name both in the Bundesliga and the DFB.

‘Everybody loves Benedikt Höwedes, Mats. I’m sure you can handle a footballer of his calibre.’ Jurgen says. He hands Mats a picture of the said footballer.

‘Isn’t this supposed to be a joint work between me and Schweini?’ Mats asks, placing the picture of the footballer back to Jurgen’s desk. Jurgen wipes the lens of the glasses. He keeps his eyes on Mats throughout the process, while Mats is not exactly scared; Jurgen is currently giving him the _do-as-I-ask-Hummels_ look. ‘Bastian Schweinsteiger called earlier, claiming he can’t come. The poor Bavarian has worked very hard the past seven years for us…He needs his time off, and he really needs to spend time with his husband.’ Jurgen says eventually. He wears his glasses and dismisses Mats with a wave of his hand.

‘What about me?’ Mats wants to ask, but didn’t.

 -

Mats, much to his annoyance, is sitting in one of Schalke’s benches. He is not overly fond of Schalke. No matter how great this Benedikt Howedes that Kloppo wants him to interview, he’s not going to top the list of the great people in Mats’ mental list of awesome people for two reasons:

1\. He’s Schalke’s captain.

2\. Mats supports Dortmund, therefore, anyone from Schalke is immediately an enemy.

Okay, maybe Mats adds a third choice on his list, but he doesn’t consider it official. Whatever.

3\. He’s good looking, and I can’t have him.

Mats doodles on his note, to pass the time, while the Schalke players run back and forth on the field. Mats also ignores the strong voice of Benedikt who is currently commanding some of his squad members not to lag behind.

When the training session is over, Mats heads to the players dugout. The Schalke coach was surprisingly easy to talk to. All Mats had to do is ask the coach for an available interview time with Benedikt and the coach has given Mats the go signal for the lockers. Mats didn’t head to the lockers though. Instead, he dials Marco’s number. He was about to warn Marco of his unfortunate assigned job, which makes him unavailable for their FIFA night, when Benedikt exits the locker room. Mats abruptly ends the call, at the sound of Marco’s voice. He made a mental note to call Marco later on. For now, his eyes were set on Benedikt.

‘Excuse me, Benedikt Höwedes? ‘ Mats says loudly, but it seems not exactly loud enough for Benedikt to hear.

 _What the hell? Is he avoiding me?_ Mats hisses under his breath. He is starting to get pissed.

‘Benedikt Höwedes-‘ Mats repeats. Mats mentally whoops in joy when the footballer finally turns to meet him.

‘Good afternoon. I’m Mats Hummels from the Dortmund Herald, I’d like to ask if you’re free today? I know I haven’t called your agent or anything, I’m in a hurry and I have a deadline to meet. So, uh, if you are free It’d be really of great help if you could allot a few minutes of your time for an interview.’ Mats babbles. Never had Mats felt like digging a grave for his own. So, to compensate for his earlier failure, he smiles with what he thinks was his killer smile, and hoped for the best.

‘I’m sorry mister Hummels, but I can’t.’ Benedikt replies coolly. He turns, leaving a dumbfounded Mats Hummels behind.

‘Oh you-‘ Mats hisses. It turns that he’s available for their FIFA night anyway.

He dials Marco’s number.

‘Hello, Mats, if you’re going to end the call, I swear to god I’m gonna kill you.’ Marco threatens. Mats feels like laughing, instead he answers ‘I’ll tell everything later. Bring beers, tons of ‘em and prepare your controllers, set up the console, and don’t worry about the pizza I have them covered.’

\--

‘So you’re telling me Benedikt Howedes turned you down?’ Marco asks over a mouthful of pizza.

‘First of all, dear, please don’t talk with your mouth full.’ Mats begins. He takes a swig of his fourth beer, ‘Second, yes he did. You don’t have to repeat what I’ve said.’ Mats sighs. Mats leans on the coach while lazily manoeuvring the players on the screen. He sighs again when he hears Marco chuckle.

‘You’re really not gonna drop that, are you?’ Mats asks. He was painfully aware that Marco would not let information such as that one to go unnoticed.

‘Hell yes. Mats’ you were never turned down by people before. Your charm didn’t work!’ Marco shouts as a matter of fact. Marco cursing following a goal scored by Andre Schurrle makes Mats smile though.

‘Cheat.’ Marco claims.

‘No. I’m not.’ Mats retorts.

‘You were still turned down by Benedikt. That’s all that matters.’ Marco teases.

Mats presses the buttons of Marco’s controller, with more force than he intends to.

‘Shut up.’ Mats hisses, a beat later.

\--

Mats decides not to let Benedikt’s rejection annoy him. If anything, Benedikt’s rejection only steeled his nerves. He may not get Benedikt’s attention immediately, but he’s willing to bet to anyone that Benedikt would soon run after him begging for the interview to be done.

Mats finds a cool café near to the Veltin’s Arena. It wasn’t exactly high end, and it made the inner geek in Mats soar with Joy when there were cool action figures on display. There were mini TARDIS’s around. A few knick knacks for different Bundesliga clubs, dedicated to what appears to be the café’s sport section. There were also stacks of books, and paintings from indie artists. But what caught Mats’ attention the most was the huge Starry Night mural on the café’s wall. Mats is no art enthusiast, but the ambiance of the café from the Starry Night to the Doctor Who memorabilias—even the small football spot of the café made Mats happy. He orders a caramel macchiato and gives the barista a smile when she gives him his order. The barista blushes a little, and Mats counts it as a small victory.

He was halfway through his caramel macchiato when he hears a familiar voice talking to another man. Discreetly, Mats hides his face behind his laptop. He keeps the thought of bringing his laptop around afterwards.

‘I swear, there’s this journalist who wouldn’t stop asking our coach for interviews.’ Benedikt says to a younger boy. The boy, who appears angelic with his youthful features, looks bored. It's as if Benedikt has told him the story for quite some time already.

‘You know, maybe you should stop thinking that this journalist, what did you say was his name? Matthew? is a gossip column journalist. You did say, he’s from Dortmund Herald, so there’s no harm for you. Their manager is Klopp, and he's a respectable man.’ The younger boy reasons out.

Mats found himself nodding at the boy. ‘ _Yes, shove logic to that bastard.’_ Mats thinks. He wonders how long does he have to wait until the footballer finally agrees with him.

‘But, Jules! It’s Mats not Matthew, by the way, he’s asked me once on the car park, and after our game against Dortmund. I didn’t talk to him that night because he was wearing a Dortmund jersey, for god’s sake!’ Benedikt says. The barista whom Mats’ ordered from earlier looks unamused. The younger boy, who goes by the name Jules, nudges Benedikt, who in turn, orders from the barista, albeit sheepishly upon realizing that he was ranting rather loudly a moment ago.

When they were done with their orders the pair headed to the table behind Mats. Mats thanks his lucky stars that he decided to wear his hoodie. He may look like an angsty emo but at least Benedikt and his company didn’t notice him.

‘So, this Mats’ supports Dortmund.’ Jules says.

Mats keeps his eyes on his laptop, while his ears were focused on the conversation that is currently ongoing behind him.

‘He’s in the Dortmund VIP area. I dunno if he’s doing that on purpose to provoke me.’ Benedikt whines.

Mats bites his lips in order to keep himself from laughing. He was not planning to provoke Benedikt that night he asked Benedikt again for an interview. He is also a Dortmund supporter, so there’s no way in hell is he going to wear a Schalke jersey to please Benedikt. He is not going to stoop that low.

‘Is it me or do I think you are developing a crush on this journalist, Benni.’ Jules says. There is a hint of amusement in the younger one’s voice.

‘I-hey, I don’t! I just don’t want to see him in a Dortmund jersey!’ Benedikt retaliates. Mats could imagine him gesturing wildly to prove his point.

‘Weh?’ Jules teases.

‘Oh god. Okay, fine, he is good looking alright! He-he actually looks like a living Michelangelo work of art. God, I don’t know what to do.’ Benedikt says.

Mats could feel heat rising up his cheeks. Nobody has ever compared him to a piece of an art. It also didn’t help when Benedikt sounds like he wants to worship Ms. him. Mats usually hears that he looks like a greek god, or an ethereal being, never an artwork, worse, he was even compared to a work by Michelangelo. To Mats, that is probably the best form of compliment he’s ever heard from a person. He was compared to a master’s work of art. He was not compared to a Greek god, who were usually a form of sexual desires.

‘So you do have a crush on him! I called it, Benni, I fucking called it! I read his columns—and don’t give me that look, he writes superbly! He also offers insights on football games. I wonder why  he didn't apply to become a pundit?’ Jules shrieks.

Mats hears Benedikt groans.

‘I don’t know Jules. Mats is persistent. I don’t think I’ll be able to deny him of his request for an interview any longer-‘

‘I dare you to accept his offer for an interview.’ Jules proposes.

‘What?!’ Benedikt asks, as if the idea of accepting the interview is incredulous.

‘Hey, if this Mats Hummels would become the reason why our beloved captain would no longer be Captain McGrumpy, then I would thank him.’ Jules says.

‘You crazy…okay fine. On one condition.’ Benedikt says, it didn’t escape Mats’ ears that Benedikt sounded resigned.

‘Okay, what is it?’ Julian asks. Mats could imagine an imaginary tail wagging behind Jules’ like an overexcited puppy waiting for his master for a game of fetch.

‘You should stop teasing me about this, and don’t you ever mention his name again.’ Benedikt says.

‘How is that one condition?’

‘Shut up.’

‘Oh come on, I can’t ask about him?’

‘No.’

‘Seriously? Benni! If you don’t take that back, I’ll tell Mats that you have a huge collection of Dr Who and Star Wars memorabilia. He’ll be turned off, and then he won’t ask for an interview anymore, thinking that you are some kind of a loser fanboy.’ Jules says.

Mats bites his lips harder, ignoring the fact that he can taste blood on his mouth. Benedikt Höwedes, of all people, is a Whovian. How that makes Benedikt a loser is beyond Mats.

‘Hey, lowblow, Jules. Because I’m your captain, you’re going to have an additional two laps around the field tomorrow. We may be bros, but I’m doing that.’ Benedikt says.

‘You’re an arse, you know that?’ Jules whines.

For once, Mats’ agrees.

\--

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**Good evening,**

**I’m free tomorrow afternoon. How does that sound? –Benedikt Höwedes**

To Benedikt Höwedes

Really? Thank you very much. It would be of great help! –Mats Hummels

Mats feels warmth spreading on his chest. He buries his face on his pillows, and squeals. He rarely does that, but this is one special occasion, so Mats squeals anyway.

Mats feels his phone vibrate.

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**Stop making it sound like having an interview with me puts your career on the line.**

To Benedikt Höwedes:

My career is on the line. I need this interview so bad.

 Mats prays that he doesn't sound too desperate. He looks at the ceiling of his room, and sighs.

 _I don’t have a crush on Benedikt Höwedes._ Mats repeats to himself, until he feels his phone vibrate.

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**Is your boss a demon? Oh god, fine, you can ask as many questions if you’d like, to appease your boss’s crazy demands. We could even meet for a week beginning tomorrow. That is, if you’re fine with it.**

Mats ignores the pleasant warmth that now coils his stomach.

‘Oh gods, yes, you have no idea, how totally fine I am with your proposal, mister Höwedes.’ Mats tells himself. He also ignores how his heart skipped a beat when he uttered Höwedes. He also wondered how his name would sound from Benedikt when it was just him and Benedikt.

To Benedikt Höwedes:

Didn’t know you have a sense of humor. Lol.

Benedikt’s reply comes immediately,

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**I may be an arse sometimes, but I do think I have a wicked sense of humor. ;) Anyway, we should meet at the café that has Doctor Who stuff in it. I don’t think you’d miss that café. I’ve seen you a few times there already.**

Mats re-reads  Benedikt’s text message. Mats pinches his thighs, once, twice, and when he’s sure that he is not currently in a dream, Mats laughs.

To Benedikt Höwedes:

You’ve seen me at the café!? OMG, that sounds stalker-ish I should say. :))

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**Aren’t you the one stalking me? ;)**

To Benedikt Höwedes:

Oh my god. I love that café alright? It looks homey. Their cakes are delicious too!

**From Benedikt Höwedes:**

**Haha. Sure thing. See you tomorrow then?**

To Benedikt Höwedes:

No problem.

 

 _I’ll wait for you there._ Mats wants to add, but didn’t. And when sleep came to Mats that night, it was a pleasant one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titles were based from the songs that I had in mind when I was writing this down.


	3. Supermassive Blackhole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian sets them up for a night together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god it's been a while. I've been burdened with our finals and all that jazz these past few weeks. So yeah, I didn't get much time in between. And finally it's our term break in the Philippines. Wooty woot! So here you go.

Supermassive Blackhole  
You’re the king of superficial how long until you tell the truth

*Benedikt’s POV  
He finishes his training early because he’s the captain and sometimes you just have to enjoy the small perks of being one. He heads to the shower immediately. He passes by their new manager, Roberto Di Matteo, he nods at his coach. He ducks to their locker room to check for his phone. There is a message notification. Benedikt swipes his phone open, he smiles when he sees Mats name appear on the screen.  
From Mats Hummels:  
See you at the café.  
He contemplates on what he’s supposed to send. He looks around the locker room for a while, sits on his chair and thinks.   
To Mats Hummels  
We could grab drinks from the café and we’ll talk on my place.  
He hits send before he could even chicken out. He keeps his phone on his locker. The last time he’s left his phone Jules swapped ‘Ok’ with ‘Yo mama’ and that was probably the most embarrassing night he’d been through. He unties his shoelaces. He stretches his legs after he freed his feet from his boots. Benedikt leans on his locker, enjoying the peace that he knew would not last very long. He counts to sixty before he strips his jersey off. He then proceeds to the shower.  
He tries his very best to not think of Mats while he was in the stall. He thinks of Jogi picking his nose, just to shut the images of Mats flashing on his mind. He shouldn’t have followed Jules suggestion the other night. He googles Mats Hummels, and found some pictures of the journalist taken by fans. There was one where Mats was coming off a gala party. He was the date of Cathy Fischer, a super model who according to sources was a close friend of the journalist. He was close to downloading the picture of the journalist in a grey tux when Jules bothered him before he can even do so.   
\--  
After their training…  
‘Are you really sure Mats Hummels is a journalist?’ Benedikt asks Julian. The young lad shrugs at him. Julian’s hands were preoccupied with his phone, with what sounded like a clash of clans playing on his phone.   
‘I’ve searched pictures of him. He looks more like a model, than an actual journalist.’ Benedikt says nonchalantly, hoping that the boy would not read into that. Julian snorts, before looking at Benedikt with narrowed eyes.   
‘Are you really sure that you were searching for his pictures? Not his I dunno—scandal maybe? You know Benni; I’ve heard from some guys that Mats is dating Neven Subotic. Yes, the same Neven Subotic who plays for Dortmund. And the same guy who tackled you really hard last season.’ Julian answers, laughing really hard when Benedikt shoots him a glare. It was Benedikt’s turn to laugh when Julian bumped his head on the locker.  
‘Ow shit.’ Julian cussed.   
‘Poor Julian. Did it hurt? Do you need me to kiss the booboo away?’ Benedikt coos.  
‘Fuck off.’ Julian mumbles.   
Thanks to his quick reflexes, he was able to duck the used sock Julian throws at him. ‘Draxler, I am your captain, you don’t throw smelly socks at your captain!’ Benedikt commands in his captain voice.   
‘Aye aye cap’n!’ Julian says sarcastically.  
\--  
Benedikt didn’t put too much on his outfit. It’s not like they had agreed on wearing formal. He takes a deep breath as he looks at his reflection on his rear view mirror.  
‘You can do it. You can handle this, Benedikt.’ He sighs.   
Okay, maybe he’s only met the journalist like thrice but the interview will be their first. He is not going to admit it but his growing infatuation to the journalist is bordering on creepy. He tells himself that he will ask Julian to come with him, should the need of a psych evaluation arises.   
Benedikt steals a glance at his rear view mirror one more time. He smoothes his shirt for the umpteenth time even though he knows that his shirt is not wrinkled. He sighs once more figuring that arriving late at your meeting with a journalist is a disaster waiting to happen. So he steels himself, and steps out of the ‘safety’ haven which his car—at least in that moment.  
When he opens the door to the café he breathes in the scent of the coffee, hoping that it would relax his nerves. The regular patrons were present. The wannabe pundits were conversing on the sports section of the café. The old lady who never fails to greet him whenever he visits the café is busy reading a pocket book. The barista sees him, and she waves at him. She points to Mats who was seating near the Starry Night mural. She winks at Benni before checking the employee stationed at the cashier. Benedikt can’t tell how he feels right now. He may have fallen too hard for Mats. Or maybe he’s just another poor human being on God’s list of hopeless case idiot in love, footballer or no footballer.   
If he’s going to be honest with himself he’s probably a goner already. He fails to keep his lips from tugging upwards at the sight of Mats. That said Mats is currently preoccupied reading a sports magazine. Benedikt also admires how Mats’ attire makes him look like a student. He wore a grey beret, a plain white shirt beneath a grey cardigan, he also wore skinny jeans—Benedikt wasn’t sure how comfortable Mats’ feels wearing skin tight jeans, but he isn’t Mats so he doesn’t comment further, also to top the hipster/uni student look Mats wore a pair of Nike digi floral Jan skis.   
‘Talk about young and trendy’ Benedikt mutters to himself. He makes his way to Mats’ area.   
Keep cool. Calm yourself, Benedikt. It’s just an interview. He repeats mentally as he purposely takes his time before he reaches Mats’ place. Although before he can even utter a word, Mat’s turns to him. He had a warm smile on his face.   
‘Hello.’ Benedikt says finally. Mats stares at him. And good god, those big-rimmed glasses are not supposed to look good on people, but they look ridiculously hot on Mats.   
‘Good afternoon, Benedikt.’ Mats says affectionately. Benedikt notes the shift from Mats’ ‘fierce’ behaviour to a friendly Mats. Benedikt files that on his mind for future reference, if he’s lucky enough.  
‘Please, call me Benni.’ Benedikt replies. Mats raises his eyebrows at him as if daring him to say more before his face breaks into a smile.  
‘If you say so, Benni.’ Mats says. Benedikt smiles in return. He takes the seat across Mats’ and drums his fingers on the table.  
‘So, regarding the interview’ Benedikt asks. He ignores the slight disappointment that he feels when he sees Mats’ remove his glasses.  
‘Ah yes, the interview.’ Mats answers. He looks at Benedikt in the eyes. Benedikt is somewhat freaking out, because god he’s not mentally prepared for that gaze, and also, this journalist in front of him is extremely beautiful and he feels like he’s going to develop a complex of some sort.  
‘You mentioned that we’ll do it in your place.’  
‘That I did. Well, I figured it’ll be a lot noisier here, and I assume you’re going to record my answer before you transcribe them?’ Benedikt motions to the café. Having known the café for quite some time, Benedikt knows when people will start coming in.   
‘Fair point.’ Mats says. He checks his Galaxy Note, nods briefly, before turning his attention back to Benedikt.  
‘You don’t have to worry though, luckily my boss wanted a casual interview—you know, the kinds of question that doesn’t really require that much of formalities’ Mats air quotes with a smirk, ‘so you don’t have to be pressured on anything heavily related to the Bundesliga.’ Mats reassures him. Benedikt silently thanks the gods. Recently, he wanted to avoid talking about Schalke. The club is going through a lot recently. What, with a new manager on the line and everything that comes whenever you have a new manager. The rumours of Julian moving to another club, their recent slump in the beginning of the season, Benedikt wasn’t ready for those yet. Not to mention that his injury didn’t help too.  
-  
The drive is comfortably tolerable which was pretty surprising for Benedikt. Not that he is pessimistic or anything, but Mats seems to be a decent company. Even if the drive is spent mostly on relative silence, it’s not as intimidating as he thought that it would be. Despite having a potential crush on the journalist it’s as if they’ve known each other for a while already. Whatever crazy shit love or anything love at first sight has, Benedikt didn’t want to know. Benedikt steals a glance at Mats who is leaning on the window of his Benz, his eyes never leaving his note. Once again he has his eyeglasses on; the bloody eyeglasses that makes him look all hotter than he really should—for a guy in glasses. Benedikt wonders if it were interview questions that Mats is currently reading. He stops himself from asking Mats about it. Instead Benedikt clears his throat.  
‘So, do you happen to support any club apart from Dortmund?’ Benedikt asks. Benedikt internally cringes in disbelief. That was terribly the worst question that he had ever begun with. If the rumours about Mats dating Neven subotic are true, well, it’s not like he can know anyway, unless Mats tells him—still… If the rumours were indeed true, then it’s only logical for Mats to support Dortmund. That is unless he’s been a fan of the club for so long.   
‘Are you trying to begin a debate between your club and the club that I support, because if that’s the case, then let’s drop this.’ Mats says. Benedikt glances at Mats who had his eyebrow arched again. He looks dead serious.  
Okay that wasn’t cool, Benedikt.   
Benedikt returns his eyes on the road.   
‘Um, no. I’m just curious. Apart from the derby, well, if I’m going to be honest, the Bundesliga is a one horse race, so I have no issues with the derby.’ Benedikt backpedals.  
‘Well, that’s true. So if you’re asking me if I support any other clubs from another league, then it’s going to be Chelsea.’ The journalist says.   
Benedikt can’t believe what he’s hearing. He has no problem with the English club. He respects the club despite the fact that the said club had beaten them two years back, before finally clinching the coveted Champions League title in 2012 under their former manager, who by some stroke of divine comedy, is their newly appointed manager.   
‘Really, Chelsea?’ Benedikt asks, stopping his Audi to let the people pass the pedestrian line,  
‘Yeah.’ Mats drawls. Benedikt looks at Mats, as in really looks at Mats. Mats lowers his Note to look at the Benni.  
‘Didn’t peg you to support the English men in Royal Blue.’ Benedikt says.   
‘What’s not to love? They have a brilliant coach, not to mention the fact that he’s doing really good at that. I’ve interviewed him once, and truth be told, I, too, felt like he was playing mind games with me. And, there are like a few English men clad in Chelsea’s Royal Blue.’ Mats corrects.  
‘Eh?’ Was all Benedikt could utter.  
‘Okay. So if you like Chelsea, do you think we have a chance to redeem ourselves under di Matteo?’ Benedikt asks again  
Mats looks at him like he suddenly had another head. ‘Um, I don’t really know.’ Mats replies. He returns his glance back to his Note. Benedikt notes the blush on Mats face.

Well, that's new. Benedikt remarks, only to himself.

-  
'When you first started playing, did you vision yourself lifting the cup?' Mats asks.   
Benedikt crosses his arms. He tries to recall the times he had under the watchful gaze of Joachim Löw, getting chosen to play for the senior team, his first training with the squad. He still could not fully believe it himself that they won the World Cup months ago.  
'I didn't expect much to be honest. I know that we are a strong team. Other than that all I remind myself is that I always have to give my 100%. With veteran players on our team, It had been ingrained on my mind that I didn't want to disappoint them. I also somewhat knew that we have a fighting chance in Brazil. I know that we were capable of delivering good games so I just play like it's my last.'  
Mats regards him with a look. He had no idea what it meant, but he waits for Mats to ask him another question.  
'You had been lauded for your stellar defending skills, to whom do you credit that?'  
'My mother, she has a technical knowledge of the sport. She was my coach until I get used to the feel of football. And then I trained just like everyone in the youth camp. I have no secrets whatsoever. As I have mentioned earlier, I play like it's my last game, so I guess I take that mindset too seriously and just like that my body works like I need it to.'  
''When you don't play football, what do you do?' Benedikt laughs. He recalls Julian's comments about him being a nerd. Since the questions were indeed easy ones, Benedikt answers.  
‘I like to watch football when I don’t play, that’s a given.’ Benedikt counting off his hobbies outside football, he was also glad that the interview doesn’t require a video of him. ‘Well, I read a lot. I collect action figures. In fact, I have a huge room filled with Star Wars and Doctor Who memorabilia alone.’ Benedikt adds. He glances at Mats who has a small smile on his face. The journalist urges him to continue, which makes Benedikt feel warm inside. ‘I also help kids. Through different foundations I help them go to school. It makes me sad that there are a lot of underprivileged kids who can’t afford to go to school, so I ask my agent to look for potential scholars as well. We help them be it on their monthly allowance or school needs. We try to cover up everything the kid needs for school, that way he can pursue his dreams. God, you never know how good it feels until a kid hugs you tightly. I know it’s not much, since a lot of people have been doing that, but I hope other country’s government do something about their citizens and invest on the young ones.’ Benedikt stops when he realizes that he’s rambled off. He glances at Mats again. The journalist was giving him a look; this time he had no idea what it meant.  
‘Sorry, did I ramble?’ Benedikt asks.  
‘Oh god, no.’ Mats says suddenly, as if he’s been snapped back to reality. ‘You impress me, Benedikt Höwedes.’ Mats smiles.  
‘Oh please,’ Benni chuckles ‘As I’ve said a lot of footballers does that. And I told you to call me Benni.’ Benedikt says.   
Mats nods at him. Benedikt notes that Mats is blushing again.  
Don’t take that for anything, maybe it’s natural? Benedikt contemplates.   
‘I also have plans on helping young footballers in the Philippines. A friend of mine sent a video of the documentary made by a local journalist in the area…and well, there are a group of kids from Payatas FC who were in need of equipment and football gears. I’m currently in contact with Roy Moore from Fairplay for All Foundation and I’m thinking of visiting of the country soon. ‘ Benedikt recalls the conversation he shared with his agent regarding that and he was really glad when his manager is aboard with his idea. He learned from Roy Moore that the kids were able to do a stellar job in the recent Street Child World Cup.   
They continued the interview for an hour before Mats had to leave. Benedikt offers to drive Mats back to Dortmund but the journalist politely declined. He thanks Benedikt for his time and leaves.  
\--   
The following day turns out to be pretty normal for Benedikt. Especially when Jules follows him around the training ground asking questions that ranges from normal to ridiculously absurd. It didn’t help when Robbie, as the coach wanted them to call him, orders him to do another round of sprints when he was caught lagging behind. Everyone seems amused and interested on what caught their captain’s attention for him to lose focus. Kevin jogs up to him when he is through with the additional sprints, and asks him whether he got laid the other night. He shoots his teammate a scandalized look. Kevin roars with laughter before leaving him to tell Julian about it. The young footballer was eyeing him mischievously. He runs to Julian, ignoring the sound of whistling and hoots coming from his teammates. He manages to corner Julian in the locker room. The boy, smiles innocently at him. Benedikt knows that smile. He had fallen victim to the younger lad’s antics for quite some time already.   
‘What is it?’ Benedikt asks, raising his voice a little higher than necessary over his team mates laughs.  
‘I sent a text to the journalist.’ Julian whispers. Julian hands him his phone. He swipes the lock screen, the wallpaper has been swapped with a picture of Julian and Huntelaar doing kissy faces at the screen.  
‘What the hell?’ Benedikt asks. Suddenly a message notification popped from his phone.  
From Mats Hummels  
I’d love to. :D   
‘Julian fucking hell Draxler, what have you done?’ Benedikt shouts. Julian sprints away from him, knowing full well that he is already seeing red. He shoves his phone back to his locker. All his teammates were laughing at him. On the bright side, nobody knows Mats Hummels. At least he hopes they don’t. He cares about the journalist. He didn’t want the poor guy get dragged into the maelstrom that is the media especially when Bild reporters are currently on the hound for gay footballers after his Die Mannschaft team mate admitted that he is currently dating another journalist. He chases Julian around the field, while his team mates watch them on the touch line amused.   
‘Our beloved skipper’s gonna get laid tomorrow night!’ Screams Julian.  
Benedikt’s team mates howled in laughter, followed by whistles and catcalls.   
‘Goddamn it, Jules. I’m going to spoil the latest episode of The Walking Dead, and what’s going to happen on the next season of Game of Thrones! Trust me I’ve read all of ‘em.’ Benedikt threatens. Benedikt smiles in victory when Julian halts.   
‘You’re no fair!’ Julian whines. Benedikt, walks to Julian instead of tackling him down on the field as originally intended.   
‘What? Me? How am I unfair?’ Benedikt asks confused.  
Julian turns to him, his face red. He was pouting like a spoiled seven year old kid who is about to throw a tantrum. If Benedikt is unlucky, Julian may even throw a tantrum.   
‘We’ve agreed that you won’t use The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones for bribing. I was trying to help you get laid.’ Julian whines, he stomps his feet much to Benedikt’s surprise.  
So much for being a spoiled brat. Benedikt thinks.  
‘First of all, Jules, I told you not to meddle with the affairs of your quote beloved captain unquote. Secondly, I’m not gonna spoil the series to you, you weak ass kid—go read the books if you don’t want to get spoiled. And lastly, thanks for trying to help, but that was really unnecessary.’ Benedikt is tempted to ruffle Julian’s hair just to see if Julian would lean into it, but he’s definitely not going to treat Julian like a kid, no matter how childish he appears to be.  
Julian manages a weak smile.   
‘Thank you Benni.’ Julian hugs Benedikt. The sudden impact makes Benni lose his balance which sends them both falling to the ground.  
‘Ow! Come on I just came from an injury, don’t add another one.’   
‘Sorry.’   
Benedikt sighs and shakes his head.  
‘Brat.’ Benedikt mumbles.  
‘Jerk.’ Julian replies.  
\--  
Maybe it’s an understatement that Benedikt freaks out a little when he hears his doorbell ring. He has everything ready. From what he had discovered from Julian’s texts to Mats, it was more of a casual dinner. So he hoped that the pasta alfredo he’d made from scratch is enough. Benedikt double checks the table he had set up earlier, noting with slight distress that it looked way too simple. He fixes his hair one more time before he runs to his front door.  
‘Hi.’ He says cheerfully as he ushers the journalist to his house. Since the Bundesliga season has started this is the first time he has ever managed to invite a guest to his house. He dismisses the idea of sending Julian a death threat when Mats passes by him.   
Because good god, the journalist smells so good, and Benedikt reconsiders of sending Julian a boxed set of Game of Thrones signed by the author himself. They make their way through the kitchen. Mats hands him a box, when he raises his eyebrow to ask, Mats smiles sheepishly.  
‘Figured it would be rude of me if I didn’t bring you anything, so I made cookies?’ Mats says. Benedikt thanks the journalist, and if his eyes linger for a while longer on Mats biting his lip, well, he’s only human.   
-  
Benedikt decides that he should really send Julian that Game of Thrones boxed set. He enjoys the company of the journalist. It feels good to be around somebody, and just like Julian had told him days back, he does feel less grumpy than normal. It’s probably the easy smile of the journalist, or the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He may have won the World Cup but nothing compares to this unexplainable feeling of content he feels right now. Mats was sitting next to him, happily cheering over the chances created by Eden Hazard.  
‘You really like them, yeah?’ Benedikt asks all of a sudden. Mats turn to him with a small smile on his face. The journalist nods enthusiastically.  
‘Yes.’ Mats replies ‘They’re amazing.’   
Benedikt smiles at him and then sips on his beer, he returns his attention to the screen just in time to see Hazard score a goal.  
‘Tell me what it’s like playing against Hazard.’ Mats asks. He takes a swig of his beer before he turns to Benedikt. Benedikt feels his heart skip a beat under the journalist’s gaze. He recalls their Champions League match a few weeks back.   
‘He’s brilliant. As some visiting fans shouted, bloody brilliant.’ He says bitterly. Mats notices it, and makes a face at him. He is obviously enjoying Benedikt’s discomfort.  
‘Aww. Benni.’ Mats cooes. ‘Don’t worry, you tied with them and who knows, maybe under di Matteo you may cause an upset?’   
‘You think so?’ Benedikt asks.   
Mats smirks.  
‘I don’t know…maybe that’s just me being overly optimistic.’ Mats answers  
‘So you really don’t think we can beat Chelsea, huh?’ Benedikt asks amusedly.  
Mats smirks at him.   
‘Yeah.’ Mats says after composing himself. Benedikt’s eyes widen at that, which makes laugh double over in laughter.  
‘Of course, a Dortmund fan like you would not want their derby rival win.’ Benedikt says absently.   
‘There there.’ Mats pats him affectionately. Benedikt rubs the back of his neck, suddenly feeling awkward. He hadn’t meant to say that, especially not to Mats Hummels.  
‘I’m sorry?’ he says.  
Mats rolls his eyes and scoots closer to him, smiling as he looks over Benedikt’s blushing face.  
‘Don’t be. You’re really affected by this Revier Derby huh?’ Mats asks. Benedikt stares at Mats. He wants to protest that he wasn’t.   
How can he not be affected? His potential crush is currently dating, according to his team mates, the player he hated the most. He only got to know the journalist now. He didn’t know much about the journalist, but he wanted to unravel more from him. Mats was like an enigma waiting to be solved. He knew that his feelings for Mats maybe developing way too fast, and he knows that he has to take things slow and pray that he would not make a mistake that would most likely leave him broken.   
‘I don’t know.’ Benedikt mumbles.  
Mats shrugs at him.  
‘Hey, I don’t blame you. If it will make you feel better, I am actually impressed with how Schalke managed to force a draw against Chelsea.’  
‘Says the one who supports Chelsea, blame it on their defence, Mourinho should’ve known that a goal was about to come, and yet he didn’t do anything about it.’   
Mats shook his head.   
‘Wow…that’s really kind of cute coming from you.’ Mats says.  
‘What?’ Benedikt opens his mouth, he was about to protest but Mats raises his hand.  
‘You know what? Let’s not talk about football, okay?’  
‘Um, okay.’ Benedikt agrees. ‘Should we get wasted then?’ Benedikt asks.  
Mats answering laugh is more than anything Benedikt could have ever possibly thought of.  
\--  
After a few rounds of beer and whiskey, when their conversation started to lessen, Benedikt proposes a game of truth or dare.  
Mats downs another shot of whiskey, and agrees. Benedikt pours another shot of whiskey for himself and downs another one, before he states the rules.  
‘Rules are just the same.’ Benedikt says. He grimaces at the taste of whiskey. He is slightly tipsy, and Mats looks just the same as he was.   
‘But that’s boooring.’ Mats drawls.  
‘Fine, then when either of us would not answer the truth question, or do the dare then you have to strip.’ Benedikt backpedals. He watches Mats take a bite of the chocolate they both agreed to share.  
‘Easy enough.’ Mats agrees.   
‘Kay. Truth or Dare?’ Benedikt asks Mats.  
Mats looks down on him from the bar where he is currently perched at.  
‘Truth.’   
‘Are you currently dating Neven Subotic?’ Benedikt knows that that question is out of the line, but they were both tipsy, so what the hell.  
‘I’d rather not answer that. Where’d you get that question?’ Mats asks. He unceremoniously throws his vest on the floor.  
‘I’ve seen from some sites.’ Benedikt lies.   
‘Ah, stalking on me, are you now Benni?’ Mats asks. Benedikt shakes his head even though Mats was right.  
‘Fine’ Mats scoffs playfully. ‘Truth or Dare?’ Mats asks.  
‘Dare.’  
‘I dare you tweet that you support Dortmund.’   
Benedikt nearly drops his beer.  
‘No fucking way!’ he says. Mats grins. ‘Are you out of your mind, nope I’m not doing that, no.’  
‘Buzzkill.’ Mats says playfully. ‘You know the rules, strip.’   
‘This is so unfair.’ Benedikt whines.  
‘You proposed that.’ Mats reminds him.   
With a sigh, Benedikt removes his sneakers and ignores Mats’ boos from his bar counter.  
‘Okay, your turn. Truth or dare?’ he asks Mats.  
‘Dare.’  
Benedikt looks around him. He spots the chocolate that they broke in pieces on his plate. He bites his lips at the temptation.   
‘I dare you to feed me that chocolate.’ Benedikt commands ‘with your mouth.’ Benedikt watches Mats as  
he stretches his arms. He jumps off the counter with a grace for a man who is slightly drunk. He swallows, when he sees Mats pick the chocolate from the plate and keeps it in place between his teeth.   
Oh sweet Jesus. Benedikt thinks.  
Mats goes over to him, and feeds him the chocolate. Benedikt feels weird. Their lips are barely touching, and yet he feels as if he needs to close the distance between them. But he doesn’t. Mats smirks at him and walks back to the counter with a swagger. He looks at Mats, eyes moving from Mats feet, upwards. Benedikt had to refrain from imagining how Mats would look like if he were debauched lest he wanted to be embarrassed in front of the journalist.  
‘You’re no fair.’ Benedikt says. Mats hears it and adds, ‘Darling, all is fair in love and war.’  
‘WHAT?’   
Mats laughs louder this time.   
‘Geez, chill Benni.’ Mats says with a smile.  
Benedikt huffs. ‘So it’s my turn, truth.’   
‘You’re no longer virgin.’   
‘Yep’  
Mats nods at that.   
‘Problem?’ he asks.  
‘None.’ Mats says sweetly.  
‘This is relatively an easy game, and it’s beginning to bore me.’ Benedikt says. He drinks a shot of whiskey, and points the shot glass to Mats.  
‘You suggested it.’ Mats replies. Mats rolls his eyes at the offer of another whiskey, but he moves away from the bar counter anyway.  
They finish the whole bottle of whiskey and the remaining beer cans. Benedikt knows that he is going to regret drinking too much the following day. He reminds himself to take his painkillers to his room upstairs. What he is worried about though, is Mats who looks like he could barely stand himself.  
‘Should we dance.’ Mats proposes suddenly. Benedikt watch amusedly as Mats’ look for a song on his phone.   
‘This is ridiculous.’ Benedikt says dryly. He waits for the journalist to choose the song. Benedikt rolls his eyes when Killing Me Softly began playing from Mats’ phone.  
‘Are you really? Oh god, you know what? C’mere.’ He says. He pulls Mats to him, Mats giggles at the sudden contact. Benedikt wraps his hand on Mats’ waist cursing his shorter stature. He keeps Mats from swaying, and steadies him as they move in slow circles.  
‘you’re drunk.’ Benedikt comments  
‘No I’m not.’ Mats retorts. He wraps his hands on Benedikt’s neck and stares at Benedikt. Benedikt’s breath hitches at Mats’s stupid grin. Again, he curses his genes, he also asks god, why is he not the taller one here, when he obviously is not that short, but Mats is making him insecure okay?  
Benedikt realises a second too late that they were falling down. Either of them were probably to blame, and his butt and his entire body hurts.  
‘Sorry.’ Mats says, followed by Mats laughing again.  
Benedikt lets Mats sprawl on top of him.   
‘You know what?’ Mats pipes up, looking at him again, his eyes were brimming with tears. Benedikt has no idea whether it was normal for people to cry when they’re drunk.   
‘You look a lot like him.’ Mats adds.  
Benedikt rubs circles on the small of Mats’ back figuring that relaxing the journalist would make him open up more.  
‘I’m stupid.’ Mats says.   
‘Why?’   
‘I’s never mind.’ Mats grins ‘I’m just—I’m not drunk okay?’ Mats says, even though the slur of his voice proves otherwise.   
‘Benni, you’re beautiful. You know that? When Kloppo showed me your picture I thought you were just a good looking footballer, turns out I was wrong. You’re beautiful, in what way? I really have no idea.’  
‘Mats?’ Benni says  
‘Benni.’ Mats whines ‘shut up and listen to me.’   
‘Alright.’ Benedikt concedes, figuring he was left with no other choice anyway. Mats looks up to him and smiles, this time, it looked sadder.  
‘You’re different from him. You remind me of someone, he looks a lot like you. I loved him so sooo much. I think I still do. I have another suitor, he’s called Neven. I cheated on him, I let myself get banged by Neven. I thought Neven loves me. He left me, so I-so I went back to him—the guy who looks like you. I want to be honest with him..when I got there, he’s gone. His mum told me, he—they beat him up. I don’t know who…but they did. I loved him, but I held back. When I wanted him back, he’s gone.’

And just like that, Mats breaks down. Benedikt didn’t expect Mats to crumble in front of him. He really has no idea what to do, so he lets his body move on its own. He cups Mats’ face, and wipes away the tears that continued to fall.

‘Mats? Sshh, Mats listen to me.’ Benedikt whispers. He felt Mats shiver above him.

‘It’s not your fault okay.’

‘Benni, it’s my fault.’

‘No it’s not your fault, Mats.’

‘It is-’

‘If you don’t stop this, I’ll kiss you.’ Benedikt threatens.

Mats giggles.

‘You will?’ Mats asks. Mats looks at Benedikt. Feeling bold, Benedikt blames it on the alcohol, Benedikt nods.  
‘Don’t be silly, Benniiii You’re not gonna kiss Mats no-‘

‘And if I do?’ Benedikt stops Mats from rambling. Mats stares at him for a while before his shoulder sags in defeat.

‘Try’ Mats whispers.

Benedikt notices Mats’ eyes were a shade darker, which made him wonder if that too were the effect of the alcohol they had consumed. Benedikt pulls Mats face to his, and kisses the journalist. Their kiss was gentle, it was not hurried unlike Benedikt’s first kiss to a girl back when he was in seventh grade. Benedikt pulls away hesitantly when Mats mewls at the kiss.

‘I need your permission if you’re alright with this?’ Benedikt asks.  
Mats nods at him. Benedikt ignores the coldness and hardness of the floor beneath him. He focuses on Mats flushed face. Being with Mats is something Benedikt thinks that he isn’t certainly giving up. His few moments with the journalist is a reminder that life for him has been kind. He tells himself that he is willing to fight for this, even if he ends up being friends with the journalist only. Because he believes that at the end of this fate’s encounter will be definitely worth it at the end.

When Benedikts eyes falls on Mats he knew that, yes, he is definitely a goner already.

‘You sure?’ Benedikt asks anyway. 

He contemplates on his next move. He gathers all his strength for the rejection but then Mats growls and pulls him for a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything Benedikt says is obviously fictional haha. I have no idea if Benedikt does the same charitable works like Ozil does.   
> Also, regarding the Street Child World Cup that was help months ago, yeah, we've done a pretty good job in it despite the lack of interest of football in our country. boo.


	4. Undisclosed Desires: I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write this after Chelsea's draw against Manchester United. Ughh. ahaha. =))

 

_**Crashing waves on an empty beach,** _

_**The rhythm of our hearts,** _

_**Two drowning lovers lost at sea,** _

_**My lips adrift in yours.** _

                **-Michael Faudet; The Kiss**

It’s electrifying, the sensation too overwhelming and arousing. Benedikt has never felt so teased, each time their tongues touched his heart fought against his ribcage-wanting to escape. He barely knew the man he was kissing.

It’s something Benedikt haven’t tried doing yet—kissing a stranger.

 

He has then learned from Mats that the journalist is indeed dating Neven Subotic.

 

But it’s a good kind of pain. Something, Benedikt would love to repeat over and over again. He savours the taste of beer and the hint of chocolate that lingered on Mats' mouth and enjoys their lazy kiss. He never knew that someone could drive him crazy with wanton desires. And though, Mats has not fully opened up to him yet, he is willing to wait. He ran his hands on Mats' sides experimentally, eliciting a soft whimper from Mats.

 

He pulls away hesitantly. Mats breathes sharply and stares at him.

Mats irises were full blown, his lips scarlet and wet and oh so sinful, Benedikt didn't fail to notice the hint of pink that dusted Mats' cheeks. If it were a result of their kiss—hell, Benedikt was secretly proud of what he's done.

 

'Mats, are you really sure you want this?' he asks anyway. He doesn't know if he can handle Mats rejection, but he could handle it if Mats stops him before they could do something that they will both regret.

 

'Benni, please.' Mats whispers, he buries his face on the crook of Benni's neck.

'I don't want you to regret this.' Benni whispers back. He toys with the already messy soft locks of Mats' hair. 

As much as he feels like staying in their position, with Mats above him, Benedikt as he had feared earlier feels that the floor wasn't exactly comfortable. His back began to hurt.

 

'Mats' Benedikt coaxes gently, 'Mats, come on. My room is not far. You should sleep.' Benedikt’s feels his heart sink a little. He's not the type of person who takes advantage of people, if Mats doesn't want to, Benedikt would stop. Mats sighs once more before he untangles his limbs from Benedikt's.

'I'm sorry, Benni.' Mats says.

He avoids Benedikt's stare. Benedikt doesn't know what to do. He was confused, and hurt, by somebody he had recently met.

'Don't be.' Benedikt replies reassuringly. He stands up, and stretches his limbs.

 

‘Mats, come on.’ Benedikt says. Mats looks up to him with a sad gaze. He helps Mats stand; he had to keep his arm on Mats’ waist to keep the journalist from falling over.

‘If I tell you I want this, would you accept my offer?’ Mats asks after Benedikt eases the journalist’s posture.

‘Maybe.’ Benedikt answers truthfully. Because why not? Even though knows it was selfish of him to do so.

\---

Benedikt brings his guest to the room. He turns the dim light, sighing when he realizes that Mats’ may or may not notice Captain America’s shield nightlight that Julian got for him on his birthday.

_Focus on the task, Benni._ Benedikt reminds himself.

He helps Mat onto his bed, so that the journalist was completely on it.

 

'Benni-' Mats said, and oh, Benedikt would do everything just to have Mats call him that. Mats’ grips on his shirt which stops him from getting Mats’ a cleaner shirt.

 

'Benni, I'm begging you, please, stay?' Mats says, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

'Why?' Benedikt says sharply. He hates the coldness of his voice. Benedikt blames the alcohol, he may not be as drunk as he was or Mats was earlier, but it is surely disrupting his coherent thoughts.

 

'Make me feel loved, at least for tonight.' Mats says meekly, his hand on Benedikt’s shirt begins to tremble, but the grip on his shirt did not loosen.

 

 He pulls Mats to him, who startles at the contact. Benedikt isn’t surprised when he feels a bit guilty knowing Mats is dating Neven.

 

Benedikt cups Mats face, cursing that he was a few inches shy of Mats' height. He sees Mats looks like he is about to breakdown any moment from now.  

Benedikt hates seeing a beautiful being like Mats breakdown before him.

 

It's just wrong.

 

'Mats, whatever it was that you had back then, I don't care.' Benedikt claims. He wipes the tears that were threatening to spill from Mats' eyes. He then kisses Mats' forehead. He lets his lips linger for a while before he looks at Mats in the eyes.

'I want you to remember this night. I want you to know how willing I am to accept you. I'm not going to hold you back…tell me if you want to stop. Should you walk away in the morning, I won't stop you.' Mats nods.  

And just like on a high adrenaline powered match, the floodgates opened leaving Benedikt overwhelmed this time with desire, longing, and everything in between. He reaches for Mats and is genuinely surprised when Mats meets him halfway.

After all his doubts Mats still wanted him. Or so he wants to believe.

His hands remain at Mats’ face. He wants Mats to realize how much willing he is to take Mats in. Even if it would mean that he would have to crash beyond the unknown, if it would give him the chance to be with Mats, then it's a risk that Benedikt is willing to take.

 

Benedikt feels the grip from Mats’ hand on his shirt tighten.

He savours Mats’ whimper when he nibbles on Mats' lower lips. Benedikt prays that he would be able to control himself. Yes, he wants to satiate the hunger that he feels but he also wants  Mats to know what it's like to be valued.

He slowly runs his hand to Mats' neck, his fingers ghosting over the exposed warm skin. Their ragged breaths fill his room. He pecks Mats lips, as his fingers made their way down the hem of Mats' long sleeved shirt.

 

‘You dress like a college hipster you know that?’ Benedikt says as he lets go of Mats.

 

‘But you love it.’ Mats answers breathlessly.

 

Benedikt fumbles on the button of Mats’ shirt. He groans in frustration as he could not stop his hands from shaking. Mats sees that, and pries Benedikts’ hands away from his shirt. He unbuttons his shirt quickly. When Benedikt sees Mats finally unbuttoning the last button on his shirt, he stops Mats. He undresses Mats with fascination, and when Mats was free from the hindering clothes, he carelessly tossed Mats’ shirt on the floor. He proceeds on removing his own Schalke shirt, laughing halfway when he recalled Mats saying that he should be wearing Dortmund yellow. Mats gives him a puzzled look, which made him laugh even harder.

 

'I just remembered you saying that you hate the royal blue of Schalke. I guess you can enjoy now, because I'm discarding this piece of shit that you oh so hate.' Benedikt says. He grins when he sees Mats roll his eyes. He tosses his shirt on the floor, and looks at Mats. Mats is openly staring at his upper body. He reminds himself not to feel insecure at the beautiful man before him. He reaches for the belt on Mats' jeans and unbuckles it. Taking Mats' jeans off proved to be difficult for Benedikt, for he was undeniably excited, not to mention that Mats wore tight skinny jeans.

When he’s done with task, and Mats was down to his boxers, Mats did the same to his. When they were through, he glanced at Mats for confirmation. This time, it was Mats who laughs at him.

 

'Are you really sure?' Benedikt asks once more.

 

'Yes. And if I'm gone in the morning don't look for me.' Mats teases. Benedikt notices the hint of sadness on Mats' voice but didn't comment on it. Instead, Benedikt reaches out to Mats and pulled the journalist to him. He traces the contour of Mats's face with his hands, while keeping his eyes trained on Mats.

 

'I want to worship you.' He tells Mats honestly.

'Then worship me.' Mats whispers against his ear.

Mats gazes wantonly at Benedikt, coaxing the footballer, who follows him, entranced at the beauty of the journalist before him. Benedikt kisses Mats neck. He peppers it with soft kisses while he trailed downwards.

 

Mats is lying on his bed, inviting the footballer who accepts it. He moves his leg to straddle Mats' hips.

He was going to be gentle. That he will try. Benedikt reminded himself.

 

He leans down and playfully nibbles on the shell of Mats' ears, enjoying the soft sigh he elicits from Mats. He silences Mats' sighs with a kiss, while his hands were busy exploring the parts of Mats that his hand could reach. When they let go for air, Mats eyes were again full blown, his brown eyes a shade darker, and his lips were parted slightly.

Benedikt wonders if artists from the past feel the same whenever they were with their muse. Looking away from Mats is impossible.

 

Benedikt wants to drive Mats crazy, he feels like he needed to. He is curious and he desperately wants to know if Mats would give in, and ask for him openly. Benedikt quashes the thought away, although kept it at the back of his mind, hoping that he could do that to Mats someday. For now he settled with making love to the person who has definitely captured his poor heart.

 

‘You’re beautiful.’ He breathes. Mats smiles at him, it was a soft and genuine smile. It’s another thing Benedikt commits to his memory.

He admires Mats beneath him, like an artist would to his muse. He lets his finger explore, slowly mapping the uncharted parts of Mats’ body. It sends shivers running down his spine.

When his hands runs back to Mats’ face, Mats eyes flutters close, giving Benedikt the impression that this man beneath him is truly a masterpiece of gods.

 

He wonders if Mats’ feels the same. The world around him stopped. He is vaguely aware of everything, his attention only focused on Mats who was biting his lip in expectation. When his hands reaches Mats’ chest, he hears the sharp intake of breath as he caresses it with his fingers eagerly. He brushes his thumb at the nipple, he smiles at Mats’ startled gasp. He bends and kisses Mats neck. He kisses Mats’ collarbone, nibbling playfully, keeping in mind the sound of Mats’ laboured breaths. He licks at the bruise that he didn’t intend to leave, his way of apologizing to Mats.

  

He kisses every inch of Mats' body, slowly as he could. When Mats would whine above him, he'll silence them again with a kiss so deep that Benedikt was sure that a few more of those would leave him wanting for more.

They both strip the last of their garments and admired each other’s body. Benedikt on Mats’ beautifully chiselled body, and Mats on his own toned one.

And then they were kissing again. Mats tastes like heaven—okay screw that, Benedikt thought, Mats tastes perfect. He pushes his tongue, noting happily, when Mats’ tongue responds pushing against him.

 

And god, if that doesn’t feel good, he doesn’t know what else does.

 When their lips unlock, the shades of Mats’ eyes were darker, it went from Olive brown to almost black. One of his hands reaches to rake Mats’ hair, it was soft as he had imagined.  

His other hand palms Mats' hardening length. Mats gasps loudly this time, he wraps his hand on it and squeezes a little, sending Mats to arch, Benedikt feels his body go haywire with pleasure.

‘Mats.’ he groans ‘Mats—open your eyes. Look at me.’ He commands softly. Mats slowly opens his eyes, hot breath escaping from his lips as Benedikt strokes his hand on Mats' length languidly and slowly.

Mats’ soft mewls as he strokes was torture. He tries to hold on to his control, but his hands were moving on its own volition. His grip tightens a bit, stroking hard.

 

‘Sorry.’ He mutters.

‘Don’t be.’ Mats says, his own words thrown back at him. It feels so good. Mats eyes closes as Benedikt continues the pace of his strokes.

 

‘Benni.’ Mats moans. Mats’ hands grip his sheet tightly. Benedikt watches in amusement, Mats face was contorted to that of pleasure, his breaths continued to spill from his mouth in sharp shallow gasps.

He was pretty sure that seeing Mats writhe under him could send him coming. His hardened length, begged for contact.

As if Mats has read his thoughts, Mats hands reaches to his. He groans at the sudden contact. He lowers his head close to Mats’ ears.

‘You’re wickedly skilled.’ He whispers hotly against the shell of Mats ears. Mats’ reply was an answering stroke at his length. Benedikt groans on Mats’ neck. He bites the in between of Mats neck and shoulder. Deciding that fuck, he’s going overboard. He, stroking Mats’ length and Mats’ is stroking his. He kisses the abused flesh, licking afterwards.

 

  He ignores the pain when Mats’ other hand pulls tightly on his hair.

‘Benni. Benni. Benni.’ Mats repeats over and over again. Benedikt is going crazy, he’s there almost there.

‘Hey, I’m going to try something.’ He says. Mats looks at him confusedly, but nods in affirmation. He pulls Mats hands away from his cock. He pins Mats’ hands above him.

He takes a deep breath; he sees Mats’ cock is already glistening with precome. He looks at Mats, smirks before he has his mouth on Mats’ length. Mats loud gasp stirred something inside of him. He presses Mats hands above; he keeps them in place as he laps at the length. He takes Mats, and sucks on him with a newly found desire that this is something he may have been dreaming for so long.

 

When Mats comes, he swallows it.

 

He did not mind if it was filthy.  He just did his first and probably his best blowjob if the incoherent words coming from Mats’ mouth was anything to go by.

When Mats reaches for his, he lets the journalist do it in his own pace. He comes a few minutes after, panting on the crook of Mats' neck, whispering sweet nonsense that made Mats laugh.

 

 He asks Mats to lie on his stomach. He works on Mats' entrance with one finger first, before he grabs the lube on his bedside drawer. He apologizes to Mats, who urges him to continue, and that he did. He savours the sound of Mats' moans filling the room, the soft 'Bennis, and Benni, please.' he works his way until he heard Mats gasp when he had hit a tender spot. He is also awarded with Mats bucking his hips. He prepares the journalist, his other hand running on the dip of Mats’ back. He adds another finger, and repeats the same thing.

 

'Benni please, take me.' Mats begs.

 

He doesn’t need any more words from Mats’. Benedikt, slicks his length with a generous amount of the lube. He pulls Mats on to his lap and let Mats dictate the pace. Benedikt groans when he was finally inside Mats, he thrusts cautiously in tandem with Mats easing himself on his cock. It was slow at first; he is still trying to adjust to the feel of Mats on him.

Truth be told it was glorious. Mats’ shudders as he slides on Benedikt’s length. He buries his face on Benedikt’s neck. Mats moans inarticulately as he continues to dictate the pace, sliding up and down of Benedikt, and Benedikt follows on the thrusting. The sounds of Mats’ moans were making him harder.

 

‘I want to kiss you.’ Benedikt says between ragged breaths. He feels Mats’ smile on the crook of his neck.

And Benedikt finds himself kissing Mats again.

He kisses Mats, who kisses him back eagerly as their bodies moved in tandem: he thrusting, and Mats taking him in. Mats wraps his arms on Benedikt's neck as they began to increase the pace. Every thrust Benedikt made was met with moans from Mats' mouth.

'Oh Benni.' Mats whispers against his ear.

The hitch on the journalist’s breath is a soft caress to Benni’s ear urging him to continue. He reaches down to stroke on Mats’ erection, while his other hand remains on Mats’ waist, as he continues with his thrusts.

 

Benedikt feels he won’t last long anymore. He closes his eyes as he feels himself getting there. He pushes in deeper, Mats legs tightens on his waist. He strokes Mats’ harder, as the sudden burst of pleasure comes over to him. He hears Mats’ moan as he spills on Benedikt’s hands, his own release following seconds later. His incoherent thought sweeps away from him as waves of pleasure comes crashing down on him leaving his body shuddering.

 

Then it’s over.

 

‘Mats?’ he whispers.

‘Yeah’ Mats replies weakly.

‘I love you.’ He says. He knows that he shouldn’t let his vulnerability show but screw it. Mats body tenses at his confession. The answer he got was Mats kissing him slowly and languidly.

 

Benedikt decides that he understands.

\--

Once they were done showering, and Mats is sprawled on his bed, snuggling up to him, he smoothes the hair that obscures Mats’ eyes.

He kisses the crown of Mats’ head and he pulls the journalist to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. =))


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